City of Evil

In an alter reality where my body is nature. My hands would be the humans that inhabit me. My eyes, would be the sky. All my body parts will be some part of nature. But, what would cause weather? As people believed for a long time, god made weather and since I'm basically god in this alter reality, my mood would decide the weather. So all I want to say now is;

The sky here stays gloomy

Yet it never sheds a tear.

I'm sorry, but I'm failing to tell you all that's going in my mind. The words are jumbled and I can't write my poetry. Those 2 lines are all I leave you with. That's how broken I feel. So overwhelmed by emotions that I can't express. I have nightmare, I have dental problems, I have shoulder problems, I have social problems. I'm getting sick of everything. I have nothing to look forward to, nothing to hold onto. My anger and frustration is being projected and I'm becoming bad. I'm manipulating people for my entertainment. I am misleading people to see them crushed. I am becoming rude, brash and I don't feel like myself. I am trying to ruin lives because I can't handle myself. I have someone who is the light on the dark side of me, but that dark side is so wide that that light can't cover it all. My light is the only person along with my family I want to protect. It sucks because, my body isn't nature. My body is a city.

A city of evil.

What has happened?

I don't publicise what I write here, mainly because it's personal. But, sometimes people do come across the blog when they press the 'next blog' button. So, to the people who read my last post, here's a continuation.
The story was true as I have nightmares that get very disturbing and scare the crap out of me. Recently, I've been having one everyday and they aren't getting any better. Its sad, but its true. However, I don't freak out as badly as I used to. Why is that? Comfort.
Comfort comes from mysterious sources. But, my source of comfort comes in the form of 2 friends that are ready to drop everything, just to help me. Whether I need a ear at 130 AM or whether I need some reasjrrance before I fall asleep, they are there. What's all the more surprising is I first spoke to one of these friends in May and that person has become so important to me. But, the other friend (henceforth known as F), has taken me over. I long to to talk to F about the most insignificant of things, just because I know F is there. F is there always. I don't want this to be a post about F throughout but about what some people can do for you. A friend can change your life with the simplest of actions. By a loving smile or a helping hand. Friends are there.

As the matter goes for F, am I falling in love with F?
That remains to be seen ;)

Me and The Night

When the night falls and all is quiet. Its just me and my thoughts with me. My eyes slowly start to close but I fight it. The heavier my eyes get, the more I fight. I would think that after a tiring day all I'd want to do is shut my eyes and rest. But as I feel sleepier, my heavy eyes shed tears. Why would I shed tears? But even the possibility that I'll have to give into this scares me. Petrifies me. As the next morning approached and my bed is wet.... Soaked in my tears and my sweat.
When the night falls..... I'm all alone and serenity is yet to waft over me.
Or, am I living a lie? The ghosts that haunt me when all is silent, attack me at night. If my eyes make the mistake of closing, my dreams are attacked. Where you, my trusted friend are dying... Where my mother is being de-limbed in front of my eyes.... These feelings waft over me as a cold, but piercing deluge.
The night is a time I'm alone, but with my ghosts, fears and anxieties.... The night, is a scary place.

Destiny

I always believe that I'm someone who's destined for greater things. I've been told by many that I am. When I look back and think about all of these 'praises', I'm compelled to think about the millions that might have heard the same. How many actually fulfill their destiny? Destiny is a misleading word. No one is destined to do something in life. We are the creators of our own destiny and that is something that we make through a lifetimes work. Could I just hangup my boots because someone told me that I'm destined to be someone? No. I work hard and strive to make myself the best. I might not even do the thing people would believe I'm destined to do because I am the one who will make the final call on what I want to do. Why must we believe that we are people who have been placed by someone high above to do certain things that will help us attain salvation. If anyone thought that this is about destiny as in someone who's destined to be a business exec or an engineer, you're in the wrong place. I'm here to question our spiritual destiny. Salvation is a mental state, not something we get after death. Our holy Scriptures have guidelines to what is our destiny and to achieve that, what all do we need to do. I believe my destiny is spreading happiness and knowledge. Knowledge that is correct and happiness that is real. Knowledge about how all of us have been misled by the thought of achieving our destiny to attain salvation and happiness by showing people that our little pleasures is what makes us happy. 

I am no cynic who craps all over the institution of spirituality, as a matter of fact, I am a believer of spirituality. But have we been misguided by all the saints and holy men around us that don't realize what is the true meaning of spirituality? Its not about serving a divine form that presides above all of us, its about serving the ones around us and to never spread negativity or sadness. We are the makers of our own destiny. My destiny is to make sure people around me are enlightened by the lamp of truth and knowledge. What about you?

Paradise Lost?

Looking down from ethereal skies, silent crystalline tears I've cried, for all will say their last goodbye, to paradise?

When all of us leave this earth, do we leave to join paradise or do we lose paradise? After our passing away, what happens to our soul? Does it float aimlessly amongst everyone or does it actually go somewhere? Without the mechanical skills that our brain provided us, can we even move? We don't know what lies beyond the thin veil of life and death but do we stay the same? Can we indulge in the guilty pleasures that took our pain away for a moment? Can we feel the safe embrace of our friend or family member and be assured that all ends well? A million live, a million die..... My soul might die every day but my heart lives on. Yes, I do believe in a paradise, but whether paradise is lost or gained, I do not know about that.

Troubles of life

Its been a while but we meet again....... I am saying these lines to three things 1. My blog viewers 2. My injuries and 3. The corruption invested in each of our minds. I am writing this post not just to increase my followers but to alert my readers about everything wrong in our society. I have been listening to songs been watching No One Killed Jessica and just reflecting on everyone's problems. How some events change you, how someone changes you and how somethings just matter to much to let go. Michael Jackson, Black Eyed Peas are just some of the artists whose songs have really made me think about ourselves. Black Eyed Peas don't just party they ask where is the love and thinks we should get amnesia to forget about all evil and Michael Jackson is not all moonwalk and plastic surgeries he talks to the man in the mirror and asks him to change his ways. We should just look within to find the hidden treasures of our heart soul and mind. If you don't hear that, you just listen to the innocent kid inside you...... He will guide you.

In a place where there is no one no evil nothing, in that field of dreams you just wait for me and I will meet you there.................. 

Oops!! (PART 2)

Grrrrrr!!!!!!!! God what am I doing wrong to deserve this!!!

Its been a while since I wrote in my blog but by the way happy new year!! (I know too late but this is my first post in 2012!) Anyways I hope you remember my first blog post Oops. Today more than a year has gone and in that time period I had 2 more fractures!!

I have been named fragile by my friends because I have broken my leg thrice and have had more than five head injuries and even broke my finger once! I have had my photos edited and a lot of other things! I Cant live with such injuries!

Buuuuuut! Now I have grown I can run with an injury, I can play with an injury! I AM OFFICIALLY GOD OF INJURIES!!

Oooooops!! Just fell down!