Goodbye Mom, Goodbye Dad

Sleep forever now my darling, I won't dwell on heavens calling.

This line is simple, you can die peacefully, I accept gods decision to take you away from us. However, I have taken it into a different context and then I have written a story on it, so readers, bear with me :)

The person who has died has committed suicide and the parents have been understanding to why their child has done so. Why would parents understand something like this? Well, because the child had written a suicide note. Here's that suicide note.

I close my eyes and wrap myself in my covers. My dad on my left and my mom on my right. This is the safest place I could be been in and I sleep happily. But once I fall asleep, things don't remain happy. I have wild dreams and they envelope me into a world of darkness and misery. I was in half sleep throughout, mom. I've written this in that state. All I know is that I'm not controlling myself. It's the dream. I can't seem to snap out of this. I have held a knife to your throat at night so many times... Not because I want to, but my mind is telling me too. I can't control myself. I can't. I am trying but I can't fight my mind... Tonight, I have the knife with me again.. If you would wake up and see me... You would see that the knife isn't on your throat or dads throat, its across mine. You know, my mind isn't actually a bad guy. He is a good guy. The plans I make whenever you or dad are sad are made by that mind. That mind is loving and caring. But not at night. At night it's a world of its own.
I'm sorry mom, I'm sorry dad. My mind says if I can't kill you guys, I'd rather kill myself.
Goodbye mom, goodbye dad. The static of this cruel world has caused this bird to fly, long before its seen his day.
Goodbye mom, goodbye dad. I'm here with you whenever you think of me. I will love you.
Always.

City of Evil

In an alter reality where my body is nature. My hands would be the humans that inhabit me. My eyes, would be the sky. All my body parts will be some part of nature. But, what would cause weather? As people believed for a long time, god made weather and since I'm basically god in this alter reality, my mood would decide the weather. So all I want to say now is;

The sky here stays gloomy

Yet it never sheds a tear.

I'm sorry, but I'm failing to tell you all that's going in my mind. The words are jumbled and I can't write my poetry. Those 2 lines are all I leave you with. That's how broken I feel. So overwhelmed by emotions that I can't express. I have nightmare, I have dental problems, I have shoulder problems, I have social problems. I'm getting sick of everything. I have nothing to look forward to, nothing to hold onto. My anger and frustration is being projected and I'm becoming bad. I'm manipulating people for my entertainment. I am misleading people to see them crushed. I am becoming rude, brash and I don't feel like myself. I am trying to ruin lives because I can't handle myself. I have someone who is the light on the dark side of me, but that dark side is so wide that that light can't cover it all. My light is the only person along with my family I want to protect. It sucks because, my body isn't nature. My body is a city.

A city of evil.

What has happened?

I don't publicise what I write here, mainly because it's personal. But, sometimes people do come across the blog when they press the 'next blog' button. So, to the people who read my last post, here's a continuation.
The story was true as I have nightmares that get very disturbing and scare the crap out of me. Recently, I've been having one everyday and they aren't getting any better. Its sad, but its true. However, I don't freak out as badly as I used to. Why is that? Comfort.
Comfort comes from mysterious sources. But, my source of comfort comes in the form of 2 friends that are ready to drop everything, just to help me. Whether I need a ear at 130 AM or whether I need some reasjrrance before I fall asleep, they are there. What's all the more surprising is I first spoke to one of these friends in May and that person has become so important to me. But, the other friend (henceforth known as F), has taken me over. I long to to talk to F about the most insignificant of things, just because I know F is there. F is there always. I don't want this to be a post about F throughout but about what some people can do for you. A friend can change your life with the simplest of actions. By a loving smile or a helping hand. Friends are there.

As the matter goes for F, am I falling in love with F?
That remains to be seen ;)